Maria Diaz lady business. pop culture. whatever.

just stopping by to show you some love

I know what you all want.. a Myspace survey! OMG! All answers 100percent serious.

58 girl confessions

01. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
I'd rather they punch me in the face.

02. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Uh, have you met me? Short! Preferably something that resembles a sack.

Actually, that is a lie. That dress is an exception rather than rule. I am on the hoochie side of fit spectrum. I like announcing to the world that I eat on an extremely regular basis. And that I have an awesome rack.

03. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
I'd write back, Shut up you faggot bitch!

04. Group dates or single dates?
Group sex. Clearly.

05. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
no, I act different around my friends. I only hate it if they suddenly act like I'm worthless to them.

06. Are diamonds a girl's best friend?
Diamonds are disgusting and tacky. And we all know that a girl's best friend is her internet enabled cell phone.

07. Is your hair up or down today?
Down and resembling a bird's nest. The usual.

08. Do you straighten your hair?
No. A)I am lazy and B) I like the entire world to know how crazy I am. My hair reflects that.

09. What is your can't-live-without-it makeup item?
This isn't technically a makeup item, but my eyelash curler is the best 14 dollars I have ever spent on something so enormously useless. And it always scares dudes.

10. Do you get your nails done?
Yes, I participate in this weird bougie ritual. They always last approximately .5 seconds.

11. Small or large purses?
Large-ish for the every day, delightful little clutches for everything else.

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?
Lip gloss, keys, debit card, ID, SK

13.Jeans or skirts?
This might blow your mind... a jean skirt!?

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
I like everything from above my hips to be tight, so yes. Anything else makes me feel weird and blobby. My feet and legs are really weird, so despite my knowledge that I have legs that resemble tree trunks and that I should always wear something with height, I usually puss out and wear comfortable shoes.

15. Do you text message a lot?
Why don't you ask Vegan Produce Guy?

16. What would you do if you got pregnant?
Probably leave the dude an inappropriate yelp compliment/myspace message about it. After sending out a twitter update about it, of course.

17. Name something you do that is decidedly non-girly.
I am uncomfortable with all this talk of traditional gender roles.

18. Do sad scenes in movies & commercials make you cry?
Yes.

19. Whats your favorite color?
Black. It's the new black.

20. Heels or flats?
I love how heels look and really wish I had more internal fortitude to wear them, but I usually go with flats or kitten heels. A few years ago, I was REALLY into club kid type platform type shoes. I should bring that look back.

21. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
Never. You never know when you'll meet Mr. Right!

22. Walmart or Target?
Target is the only answer.

23. Do you wear shirts with colors?
Whoever wrote this question must've gotten really lazy.

24. Do you like preppy boys?
Yes. One day, I'll have my very own...Brad from Marketing. I can't wait for us to "connect" and "touch base" and go over "customer relationship management".

25. do you think lip gloss is the best?
OMG TOTALLY!!!!!!!!

26. Do you own any big sunglasses?
My glasses make it impossible for me to cash in on this trend. I can live with that.

27. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Waking up alone takes me about 45 minutes. Let's not go down this road. Some things are sacred. And really embarrasing.

28. Do you like to wear bandaids?
Yes?

29. Do you like skater boys?
I feel like I'm in a time warp to 10th grade.

30. Do you often wish there was something you could change?
No. Long live the status quo.

31. Gold or silver?
Gold for teeth (clearly)
Silver for the wedding ring I shan't be wearing
But on the real, I like fake costume jewelry.

32. Do you like to receive flowers?
Oh totally. But not fake virtual flowers. Email me for my address. NO SERIOUSLY.

33. Do you like surfer boys?
Cowabunga, dude!

34. Do you dress up for the holidays?
Yes. Someone has to bring some class to my family functions.

35. Do you like to wear dresses?
I actually prefer it on most days. I just always wear tights and sometimes the thought of putting those on is exhausting.

36. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
Guys aren't confusing. It's more confusing that I can be a supposedly smart woman and continue to put up with some of the shit that I do.

37. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
If by "hung out", you mean "had sex for money", then yes. I have.

38. Would you date a guy shorter than you?
Never. I am a 10. I deserve a 10.

39. Do you like to hold hands?
Holding hands often gets in the way of walking and I got places to go and people to see, so stop being a girl and let go of me!

40. What is the youngest age in a guy you would date?
14. That sounds about right.

41. What is the oldest you would date?
69 (hahahahahaha)

42.Whats the first thing you notice about a guy?
His investment portfolio, is it you know, diverse?

43. Is it hot when guys sweat?
Isn't B a direct result of A?

44. What is the best personality feature in a boy?
Rock hard abs
Giant penis
Oh, and sense of humor

45. Do you like making eye contact?
I prefer to keep my communications via AOL Instant Messenger and SMS, so no.

46. Would you kill for chocolate?
If it came from Delessio or Charles Chocolates, I might think about it.

47. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
I might spend about 10 minutes, but any more than that is typically worthless.

48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
OMG MOST FUN EVER! It's almost as fun as trapping your boyfriend into marrying you. Or drinking Chardonnay while in your bubble bath, reading Laurell K. Hamilton novels while slowly crying yourself to sleep.

49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite shows?
Nope, not thanks to to the lovely internetz.

50. Do you yell a lot?
If I am drunk.

51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
I own over 100 pairs of Juicy Coutoure sweat suits. I prefer to call it "lifestyle apparel"

52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
If a guy truly cared about my clothing enough to decide to date me, I'd probably realize he was a total homosexual and cease pursuing him immediately. Guys don't care. I've had successful dates in vintage curvy housewife dresses and fishnets and then in ratty jeans and a novelty shirt. Straight dudes don't really care.

53. Do you write a lot of mushy love p
oems?
yeah, that's what I'm doing whenever I'm not filling out myspace surveys. my days just fly by!

54. How many of your girlfriends do you have on speed dial?
What is speed dial? Does the sidekick have that?

55. Do you fall in love easily?
Oh totally. Underneath this smart ass exterior is the biggest sap you have ever met. And underneath that is a killer, so don't fuck with me.

56. Do you have cramps?
Oh that's right! Women are always on the rag.

57. Do you think you have the best friends ever?
Yes.

58. Do you consider yourself pretty?
I could be a part time model.