Jul 26

Potential Titles for MTV's True Life

While Not Sleeping, I came across MTV’s page for True Life episodes they are currently casting. Here are my favorite real ones:

I Have Digital Drama (more tales of Revenge Porn!)
I’m A Racist
I’m Polyamorous (wolfshirts!)
I Don’t Like My Face
I’m Dating A Cougar
I Have A Hamptons Share (NYC Prep 2.0. Probably a bunch of people who work in PR. There will be some kind of commentary over who takes the Jitney or who drives. Whatever. Nothing will beat “I have a shore house“)

Ones I’d Like To See:

I’m A Spammer
I Work At The DMV
I used to have a real personality, now I post photos of my kid’s bowel movements on Facebook
I work at TMZ (possibly a combined paparazzi episode?)
I live in a residential hotel
I’m a drug dealer

I think I’d like True Life better if it were on HBO.

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Jul 24

Put on Duran Duran & U2

Today, I’m thinking about mixes and compilations of music. I very rarely make them these days, except for people I actually like. Considering the amount of mixes I’ve made, I’ve received very few in return.

Here’s one I made for a boy in 2002:

1. the rapture — out of the races and onto the tracks
2. the vaselines — you think you’re a man
3. the magnetic fields — take ecstasy with me
4. ben lee — cigarretes will kill you
5. the dismemberment plan — the ice of boston
6. quasi — california
7. rufus wainwright — greek song
8. elliot smith — picture of me
9. built to spill — fling
10. jeff buckley — i want someone badly
11. james — laid
12. the get up kids — beer for breakfast
13. pavement — cut your hair
14. spoon — i didn’t come here to die
15. the pixies — where is my mind?
16. mazzy star — fade into you
17. velvet underground — pale blue eyes

for AA
April 9, 2002

here’s one i made for no apparent reason, probably around the same time:

this summer, i want to read foacualt

don’t change your plans — ben folds five
nashville — liz phair
viva anger, viva hate — rainer maria
valency — the spinanes
bang and blame — rem
rasberry rush — the promise ring
a dozen roses — braid
80 windows — nada surf
the company dime — the get up kids
that joke isn’t funny anymore — the smiths
seal my fate — belly
pictures in an exhbition — death cab for cutie
easy mark — nerf herder
canadian girlfriend — the dakota smith
what’s your take on cassavetes? — le tigre
lovesong — the cure
get the time — the descendents
monkey — counting crows
terrible/perfect — built to spill

and here’s one that i said was for the “uptown girl” but god knows if i remember who the hell “uptown girl” was:

tape that was SUPPOSED to be
for the uptown girl -

Side A :

cruel : tori amos
medieval people : helium
kiss off : violent femmes
i think i’m paranoid : garbage
how can i sing like a girl? : they might be giants
superman : glitterbox
wake me up before you go : wham!
one of these days: op ivy

Side B :
(ben folds five messiah megamix)

don’t change your plans
your redneck past
regrets
fair
kate
hospital song
army
lullaby

2 Comments
Jul 22

i'm not gaaaay anymore

1. Watch this:

2. Which turned into this and then morphed into this thing of amazing remix beauty:

Cheesy video that looks like a straight up Japanese karaoke video plus Internet nerdiness plus dance-y remix = everything I love and that makes me happy. You people in relationships have each other, I have YouTube.

[Via Psycho Letters From Men]

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Jul 22

Tumble Less, Blog More

The problem with spending most of my time blogging for a place that’s so niche is I run across so many interesting things all day and I have nowhere to put them. Tumblarity is an abusive relationship and I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t bother me just a tad to post something there and then have no one like it. It’s too much, ya’ll. My fragile heart can’t take it. So I’m going to try to post stuff here, where it is less important to receive validation. This blogging thing is such an addiction. When will I ever stop?

My headline today reads like a dieting thing. I will blog-diet my way to a more… readable Internet persona? What does Internet fame even get you these days? Besides a blog that analyzes your every move and has dozens of people calling a normal sized woman fat for not having visible ankle bones? Speaking of cankles (as someone who has a pair), I was SO HORRIFIED when I learned that term. Great, one more thing to be judged on. Trust me, I do not care about that at this point, but I do admit that I don’t ever wear shoes with ankle straps.

Anyway. What did I come here to talk about again? Oh, here, a few interesting things of note:

1. Why We Keep Dying.
I’m not cool enough to know who Dash Snow was, but apparently he died and a lot of people have things to say about it. This is an interesting blog post on how drugs keep killing people off in “the scene” and how angry the writer was at Dash for leaving a daughter behind.

2. Mixtapes for Hookers celebrates Mary Magdalene, one of my favorite ladies to study.

3. Amazon bought Zappos. I’m only telling you this because apparently everyone on Twitter feels it is their duty as an Internet Citizen to tell you this. Now I’m also telling you.

My favorite, favorite thing today is something I did post over at BravoFan. It’s Padma Lashkmi in Glitter, the Mariah Carey movie! The movie so bad that even watching it in college, WITH A FORTY (yes, you were there too once) wasn’t enough to salvage it. It was turned off in about 30 minutes. Anyway, here it is. I love the “80s” music at the beginning:

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Jul 21

Birthmothers, Squirrels & Musicals

1. So, as most of you know, I am currently living with my family. This is going mostly okay, except that the commute normally takes about 2 hours because none of the places I actually want to go are close to either of the bus stations that NJ Transit will take me to. However, I have spent some time googling “How to deal with controlling people.”

One thing I’ve noticed is  that that my aunt and grandmother seem to think we are living in a real life musical. They will burst into song at very strange moments, like during a lull in the conversation at dinner.  No choreographed dancing, Not yet.

2. My latest reality obsession is “16 & Pregnant” which follows in the great MTV tradition of True Life, Engaged & Under-age, and Made. While I hate the Juno-like graphics they use for the show (yes, we get it, Juno is the end-all, be-all teen pregnancy signifier from now until forever), the show is actually fairly realistic. The MTV reality shows always feel so genuine, with so little branding and producer involvement (from what I can tell). The best one so far has been the last one, where the couple gives the baby up for adoption. There’s a lot that can be said about class about all these episodes, and this one in particular, but I’m not going to beat you over the head with it. The couple in this one were so mature, self-aware, and ultimately doing the right thing, I think.

As I always do with my obsessions, I immediately went online to read more about the 16 & Pregnant girls and stumbled upon yet another online community of people I never knew existed: the “birthmother” movement. Apparently, there’s a whole bunch of adopted kids and women who’ve given their children up for adoption who are really against the whole thing. The most off the wall was this Exiled Mothers site. I think whenever you see a site with design that is at least 10 years old, the more insane the content.

I understand what this woman is saying, and there are aspects of adoption that are fucked up, like the underlying premise is that only rich people should have kids, or coupled people, but it is a real option for people who can’t or won’t have an abortion, but can’t raise kids at the moment.  I think the couple on 16 & Pregnant just wanted to break their particular cycles and not bring children into what was not the best situation. I also read a few blogs of adopted kids who tried desperately to find their birth parents, only to be rejected.  There’s a  lot of real trauma there, on both sides. I’m not going to pretend to understand either side from anything but the most abstract sense.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1MiWbZaXL0&hl=en&fs=1&]

3. A squirrel found their way into my house through the chimney on Saturday. He/she was freaking out and trying to escape and pretty much trashed the living room. Eventually, the squirrel found its way out the front door. It was so strange. Do squirrels have rabies? Do they feast on human flesh or just acorns? Now I stare at the fireplace, wanting to see if any more of those sneaky bushy tailed things are going to roll back in here.

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Jul 15

Taco Tuesday

Last night, after going to the opening of a high end tattoo shop (story tk on Bitchbuzz) that was sponsored by Hpnotiq, the older cousin to Alize, a drink I’d previously only had at a strip club, I spied Yelp to tell me where I could get food. I had to walk across 22nd street to go meet my cousin at Mr. West, a “lounge” (to me, it is a club, but what do I know about these things? Nothing.) and I filtered my results to be within 2 blocks and with only one dollar sign.

From there, emerged a pizza place with the name Giant Burrito. I was skeptical, but a reviewer from San Francisco gave it high marks for its tacos, so I took the plunge. I asked for the “taco de la casa,” which had all three meats: al pastor, pollo asada, and carne asada. It also came with guacamole, onions, and of course, cilantro. The lady asked if I wanted “chile” and duh, of course I did.

About 5 minutes later, I was handed a pile of meat on top of two warm corn tortillas with a lime on the side. No pickled vegetables, but I could deal. I liked it so much I ordered another. I smelled like onions for the rest of the night, but I didn’t care. All week, I had been yearning, in a way usually reserved for guys who don’t like me back, for a piece of California. And then I tasted it.

I’ll be back home someday.

2 Comments
Jun 7

The Week In Pictures

I’m at this point where I dislike most things I write, so I think I will just let my Flickr do the talking. Blogging about Internet Week for Pepsi was very positive, we had a really great editor and I really have to say that Pepsi, oddly enough totally understands this Internet thing. Go figure. Anyway, here’s some highlights from the iPhone camera roll:

We made our own soda with HCFS at the Pepsi factory. This was mine -- mango, grapefruit & lime. I only drink diet soda, so I had a sugar hangover the next day like you would not believe. This soda was pretty gross.

We made our own soda with HCFS at the Pepsi factory. This was mine -- mango, grapefruit & lime. I only drink diet soda, so I had a sugar hangover the next day like you would not believe. This soda was pretty gross.

On Tuesday, I had to go to the Westin Times Square for a summit (which I was denied entrance to anyway) and there was a fire across the street. Excitement!

On Tuesday, I had to go to the Westin Times Square for a summit (which I was denied entrance to anyway) and there was a fire across the street. Excitement!

I managed to catch the Cupcake truck by Union Square on Thursday. They were very reasonably priced and GOOD. Theyre also using Twitter a lot to announce their location and do promotions. I hope they stick around.

I managed to catch the Cupcake truck by Union Square on Thursday. They were very reasonably priced and GOOD. They're also using Twitter a lot to announce their location and do promotions. I hope they stick around.

there was one schmoozy event i went to that didnt have any alcohol at all, probably because it was an event for under age interns. nice to have sandwiches, though.

there was one schmoozy event i went to that didn't have any alcohol at all, probably because it was an event for under age interns. nice to have sandwiches, though.

What I was lugging around all week. Minus the iPhone of course and minus the sangria. Taken in the lobby of the W, which has free wi-fi and smells amazing.

What I was lugging around all week. Minus the iPhone of course and minus the sangria. Taken in the lobby of the W, which has free wi-fi and smells amazing.

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May 30

Stuff I've Been Looking At, Volume 1

News Stories I have been paying attention to:

1. Known as Father Oprah in Miami, Father Cutie leaves the Catholic Church and goes to Episcopalian church. Latin American media are obsessed with this story, especially now that Cutie has turned his back on the Catholic church. What happened was he got caught canoodling with his girlfriend on the beach, the Church told him to go take a spiritual retreat until he got that crazy lust out of his brain and then he came back and was all “No thanks” and is now joining a different church and is engaged to his lady friend.

I’ve seen some talk on the spanish news shows that  he was the one who leaked the photos (I guess the girlfriend met with the paparazzi who took them?) and orchestrated this entire event in order to get the hell out of the Catholic church. The priest is rather media savvy, so he may have cooked this up with a crazy publicist.  Many Catholics feel betrayed and a higher up in the church says that only God can forgive him. I don’t understand the complete unwillingness of the Catholic church to change the celibacy clause. Clearly, it doesn’t work. And what’s up with all the outrage over the priest having consensual sex with an adult woman vs all the covering up of the priests molesting young boys?

2. Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination and the avalanche of racist & sexist garbage being spewed in the media by the usual suspects. Jezebel has it covered, so I won’t even bother to comment except how sad it is that everyone is acting exactly as expected.

3. Elizabeth Wurtzel’s piece in Elle and the commentary on Broadsheet. The piece itself is kind of long and whiny but it makes me sad that a woman of such insane privelege and obvious smarts and opportunity is obsessing over her looks and over the attention of gross dudes. We all do it, we’re all taught as women that our social value is in how fuckable we are, but perhaps I was naive and optimistic to think that this kind of obsessing diminishes as you get older and stop caring. Apparently, not so much. I feel kind of lucky that I’m extremely average looking and won’t have to be dealing with “losing” my looks when I get older because you know, there were never any to begin with.

4. I keep trying to get excited about new television shows but when you write about television for a living, it sucks all of the fun out of it. I’m extremely excited to cover Top Chef Masters however, only because the Real Housewives while fun, are draining. The reunion of the NYC housewives (both epic parts) made me want to get a lobotomy. I think everyone’s fame has gotten to their heads (especially my previous favorite, Jill Zarin) and I am completely over the NYC housewives. My previous second favorite, Bethenny, is also on thin ice with me, especially with her drunkorexia diet book.

Finally, we have books! Stuff I’m hoping to read this summer:

1. Camgirls

2. Say Everything by Scott Rosenberg  about the history of blogging

3. Finally finish the anthology of graphic novels I got for my birthday last year

What have you been looking at?

2 Comments
May 30

Soda Driven Writing

It was bound to happen: your girl has gotten herself a sponsor. Well, kind of. The Pepsi Corporation has now earned a strange place in my life as a company that somehow likes what I’m selling. First, they picked me as one of their 20 finalists for the SXSW “What’s Your Pitch?” contest (which I just found out I didn’t win, instead going to TeeCycle). My idea was for an internet safety advocacy organization, focused more on legal advocacy for people getting harassed online (since the current legal system is inadequate) and training programs for kids, namey what to do with boys to teach them not to post photos of their ex-girlfriends online to get back at them. Anyway, that’s one idea that will have to come alive later on in life.

The second way is that I was chosen as part of a group of people to cover Internet Week New York, a kind of week long schedule of events to talk about the Internet, new media, social networking and all those buzz words you love. One of the things I get out of it (besides access to some pretty incredible events) was a fancy Flip HD (ultra, even!) camera. And yes, an honorarium, which is nice. Thanks Pepsi, for paying your contributors.  Intrigued by what the online peanut gallery could possibly be saying about this, I  found a few blog posts decrying the sponsorship deal and the fact that they were looking for both journalists and journalism students.  I find the latter attitude to be a typical sense of entitlement from “real” journalists. To that I say: times have changed and you need to get used to it. Whereas 10 or 20 years ago, working writers may have gotten their start working at a small town newspaper or working their way up a newsroom, now we get started on blogs. I’ve called writing my b5media blog, BravoFan “writing boot camp” because that’s exactly what it is, constant writing, not to mention I am fact checker, copy editor, and image editor all in one (and yes, I do fact check & I do research, even on my little celebrity gossip blog. I don’t get off on posting unfounded rumors as fact like many of my brethren). My first job as a writer, for a trade blog called CMSWire taught me how to look for good stories, to never just copy and paste the press release, and to always ask questions.I think the reason it’s not fair to compare blogging to traditional journalism is we don’t have the access, staff or time. Yet.

The other thing is that we are soda sponsored contributers.  Without going into any confidential details, I will say that this isn’t a project where I have to constantly talk about Pepsi and how much I love it.  So, don’t look for me to tweet anything like: OMG I LOVE PEPSI!!! Like say, Julia Allison and her sudden love of Sea World.  Or Heidi Montag’s constant tweeting about pizza hut.  But, here’s the thing: we’re getting paid and that is nice. This is a job that is so devalued and it’s nice to see someone actually paying people for contributions. I’m not opposed to writing for free, not at all, but for a person/company I really care about or for myself.

Really, Molly McAleer said it best when posting about about advertising and sponsorship on her personal blog because, as she puts it, “it’s what makes shit possible.” I disagree with her about disclosure, I think you should tell people when someone hooks you up with something, but that’s me.

In any case, thanks Pepsi. My blog posts about Internet Week will go on a site that I can’t share just yet, but I’ll be linking to them on my Twitter. And Tumblr. So, if you’re interested, that’s where I’ll be. This is the very first time I’ll be doing much with video, which will be interesting. I’m going to be on the hunt for a tripod this weekend for the Flip and taking some (likely humilating) test videos which I will post here.

And now, a final word from our (starting on June 1 and ending on June 8 ) sponsor:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tign09D5IgE]

1 Comments
May 24

The Future Is Now

I love synchronicity. I’ve spent a bulk of the evening engaged in a free write with my writing partner, to get our heads together for a fiction chapbook of sorts we’re going to self publish very soon and I’ve been spending the whole weekend researching non fiction book proposal etiquette for a book I want to pitch. Clicking around Twitter, I see  Joanne McNeil just put up a great post on what she calls “the new self publishing.”  As a new writer, I think a lot about our fucked economy and how exactly I’m going to make it out of this alive, with the actual career I want in tact. And I think it’s time to start thinking of new ways to get our work out — evolve or die, as cliched as that is.

Anyway, in an experiment to open up to new distribution models, to open up to the future as it were, I’ve started by adding the RSS feed of this blog to the Amazon Kindle store to try out their new Amazon Kindle for Blogs Program. It doesn’t work for the iPhone Kindle app or I would buy it for myself.  I don’t expect anyone to subscribe, it’s more an act of symbolism of being open to what is going to happen to text.

I do like the idea of my blog on the Kindle. I’ve been casually putting together some of these entries in book form and it becomes so apparent how different blogs and books really are. Putting the words on a physical page completely changes it. What sounded fun & light on the screen becomes frivolous garbage when you are typesetting it into an actual document to be printed.

books by alex roman

books by alex roman

Back to self publishing: the snobbery towards  self published books is pretty substantial and unfortunately, there is a reason for it. When anyone can publish anything, you end up with the Yelp of bound books (as in, very few good writers and most repetitive junk).  So, the general consensus appears to be that self publishing a book is a waste of time and you should just continue to send out query after query and wait until you get a real publisher to publish your stuff. Which is great for established authors with agents and multiple books or writers of genre fiction who are basically one people book factories. For those of us in the literary fiction world, good luck. I know it can happen, but do we all have to go through MFA programs to get there?

I want there to be a new zine revolution. I guess that is what is happening with blogs, but the truth is, the process of blogging — the way people blog now, the “micro-blog”, the sound bite version that is neither intensely personal or that significant, isn’t going to cut it. The new culture of real name social networking has destroyed any chance of anonymity, so the long, chatty entries we used to write about everything are now stuck in the purgatory of Livejournal friends only or a blog where everyone is referred to as a nickname like “Mr. Mojito” (a blog that shows up frequently in my google alerts).  And the rest of the Internet appears to be dedicated to teaching you how to use Twitter.  I don’t want this generation’s amazing writers to be swallowed up because there just isn’t enough room for them. We need to start making our own rules, having our own parties.

But, here’s the other thing, I want us to get paid. And that’s the problem. I agree with Joanne’s post that the hard part is finding the audience and getting them to buy, which in some ways I don’t understand. Support of independent media isn’t really a far fetched thing. Look at film festivals, indie bands getting audiences through Myspace,  web shows are becoming more and more common, we eat at non chain restaurants and shop at independent stores. (Some of us do, anyway.) But the point is that buying independently produced books shouldn’t be that big of a stretch. I wish more people would do it, instead of waiting to be invited to the publishing prom.

(PS – David Carnoy of CNET wrote an extremely thorough, non haterade look at self publishing his novel. It’s very helpful.)

Image: Alex Roman

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