Jan/081
Day 4: My Year Long Obsession
I'd like to tell you about another cringe inducing story from my past. When I first moved here, I was dating this guy I had met on Nerve named Ash. I was 20 and he was 31. Ash was very different from my previous boyfriends, who consisted of a socially inept dude who refused to ever leave his parent's house, was on so much Paxil he refused to sleep with me and who had been in college for something like 7 years. After that, there was my very sweet, but very, very 420 friendly Canadian boyfriend who broke up with me after I went to visit him because he was having a meaningful phone relationship with a crystal meth addict who he had never met.
So you can imagine what my 20 year old brain, fresh in the Bay Area after years of being cooped up in my parent's house and then the bubble of Oberlin College, felt when I had this tall, dark, handsome, broad shouldered stranger by my side every other weekend (he lived in Sacramento) (what can I say? if you are hot, I will travel.) with not only a real job, a well decorated apartment and the clincher - ACTUAL sexual prowess. He had the skillz to pay the billz. Young enthusiasm can only take you so far, know what I mean?
My very naive, stars in my eyes reaction to what I now realize was an ideal friends with benefits setup is that I fell completely and utterly in love with him and by that I mean, he made me completely insane. If there is such a thing as penis power, he had it over me. He made me so nuts that when I found out he was totally cheating on me - via finding the girls Livejournal bookmarked on his computer and her romantic, saccharine descriptions of their time together, including one entry that made me want to vomit called "The Massage", rather than confront him and dump his ass, I decided to become her friend and rub my relationship with Ash in her face. She lived in New York, so she didn't have the access to him that I did.