Jan/082
Ghosts of New Year’s Eve Past
New Year's Eve has been one of the biggest let downs of life as an adult (along with working a real job, having a real relationship & having a credit card). When I was a teenager, I just imagined that my New Years' Eve would involve shindigs of the Paris Hilton variety: being in the club, in the VIP, drinks on me (or rather, drinks on YOU), etc, etc. Instead, New Year's Eve has usually involved me being guilt tripped into hanging out with my family and quietly getting drunk in a corner while the 8 billion children in my family run around, high on Pepsi.
The first time I had a solo New Year's was when I went to visit my Canadian boyfriend (and yes, he did exist!) and my mother was INCREDIBLY pissed at me for a variety of reasons, mostly involving a certain medication I was taking to prevent pregnancy and the reasons for taking such pills and the fact that I was leaving her to go spend days unsupervised with some dude (and thus necessitating such pills).
Well, she kind of won that one because my new year's that year consisted of me accompanying him to a house party full of boys who thought playing video games and watching others play such games was acceptable party behavior (this was before the Wii, of course). I remember standing outside in the cold after the party was over, waiting for him to get the car and looking up at another house party where they were blasting Destiny's Child's hit "Say My Name" and wanting, so badly, to be there instead in a room full of what I'm sure where my people: gay guys and women who know that it's not a party until you listen to some cheesy pop music. He dropped me off at the hotel and went to do more lame partying while I watched Law and Order into the wee hours of the morning. When he finally came back, he tried to kiss me reeking of Alize (we were 19). I pushed him away, thinking: bitch, please. I came all the way from New York City, you take me to some terrible party full of losers and now you want to try to get with me reeking of 14 year old girl booze? No way.
This year, it was good. Full of laughter and cheer and good feeling. No kissing, but that always felt trite to me anyway, and just like I can't be having some dude trying to get up on me reeking of Boone's Farm or whatever, I can't be having no triteness.
Dec/075
Ode to 2007
With two weeks left to achieve my new years resolution of becoming Nicole Richie proportions and paying off my student loan debt, I take a break between pi-yo (that is a mixture of pilates & yoga) sessions with my trainer, Fernando and hustling on the corner of Geary & Polk to reflect on the past year.
If I were to give it a name, I would call it 2007: the Year of Making Bad Decisions that are actually good decisions but you won't know that yet and oh yeah, they were still kind of bad choices, brainiac. This is in sharp contrast to 2006, which could have been called: This Was A Good Year Until You Done Fucked It Up Real Good. But you know, that is neither here nor there. 2006: it's so over.
So, 2007, what to say to you? What did you bring me? The first few months we spent together were rough. You dared me to see what I would do with the remnants of the grief of losing my first true, real relationship and closest friend. But I took it like a man, 2007 and in the end, realized that in life, one must ask for what they want and if you want it done well, you do it yourself.
I wanted to move out of my over priced room share, so I did. I wanted to do karaoke as often as humanly possible, I did that too. I wanted to go wine tasting and eat at Thomas Keller's Ad Hoc restaurant, so I figured out a way. I wanted a real life with real friends and to go out every single night of the week, so I did that. I wanted to go to Vegas for years and none of my boyfriends ever got it together enough to go, so when a reason presented itself, I blew a ton of money and went. You gifted me with the balls I'd been searching for for years - to cut myself off from the direction-less umbilical cord that was my day job and get the hell out of there before I woke up and turned into one of those lifeless health care drones in printed plaid pants who's entire day revolves around free drug lunches.
I am harder, better, faster, stronger. I'm every woman. Since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time. I'm so moving on (yeah yeah). I'm stronger than yesterday, now it's nothing but my way. And you can insert whatever cheesy lyric you want into this section.
The point is: 2007, I will miss you. Thankfully, every single minute of it has been documented on some web site, so our times will never be far away from me. I will look back on it and think of how I started our relationship a hot, hot mess who could not stop crying in public places and ended it just a hot mess with better hair who could not stop reciting the lyrics to "Real Talk" (which was by far, the greatest gift you gave me this year). Thanks again.