Mar/083
Douchebag Discount
As we all know I love the 702 (Vegas for those of you unfamiliar with west coast area codes), but it's very expensive to go there, especially when I won't stay anywhere lower than 4 stars. I'm always on the lookout for discounts, mostly in the realm of "Let me crash in your much more expensive hotel room or suite please" but once in a while, I stumble upon something that was truly made for me. I present to you, the Douchebag Discount:
Now, those douchebags in striped shirts, too much cologne, who roam in packs from one side of the club to the other and who walk around the strip all day with those gay looking phallic margarita glasses hanging from their necks, now they too can have the opportunity to save a little money that they need to spend on Red Bull, hair gel or lamb skin condoms. I'm glad someone at Vegas.Com was thinking of these guys; after conventioners, douchebags are the backbone of the Vegas economy.
Picture courtesy of the classic Hot Chicks With Douchebags
Feb/082
Vegas, baby!
I'm in Vegas! Woo! Very, very brief because I'm actually having a life at this moment.
1) The Venetian is a nice hotel. The Wynn is nicer. I never thought I'd be able to say either of those things with any kind of authority, but now I can! The Venetian however, has free wi-fi and Bouchon and you all know how I feel about constant Internet access and constant access to French fries. I MUST HAVE THEM BOTH.
2) Las Vegas is an amazing place. There is so much wrong with it, but I love it. It's so fake and so ridiculous and so loud and it's just fantastic.
3)I'm a lucky person, living a charmed existence. Life is good!
Jan/082
I don't sleep, I dream.
Being awake at 5:35am, despite what you may think, is NOT fun, especially if you aren't engaging in any of the following:
1) Doing it. And even then, at 5:30, you are most likely thinking to yourself: WHEN WILL THIS TORTURE END? I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I DON'T WANT TO DO IT EVER SO I WILL JUST PRETEND TO BE AWAKE NOW, SURELY HE WILL BE DONE SOON? WHY DID I WAKE UP?
2) Drinking at some 24 hour establishment. And even then, you are likely thinking: How can I puke without anyone noticing? How can I pretend to drink this shot this weird dude who won't leave just bought me? Maybe If I go to the bathroom and doze off for a few minutes I can continue to party? Did I really just pay 5 dollars for this cup of dirty water?
3) Eating at some 24 hour establishment. Again though.. this is what goes through my mind: why did I order every single type of fried appetizer? How can I have drank this entire pot of coffee and still want to pass out in this booth? Oh no, my friend is telling me some extremely painful memory from their past and I can barely understand them because all I can think of is BED BED BED and not how hurt they were when their 7th grade boyfriend started going out with someone else and never told them and now they have always had trust issues and OMG WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET HOME SO I CAN SLEEP?
So in conclusion, 5:35am, awake and not asleep: sucks. Off to bed I go with my Ipod and a Law & Order to make me sleep. Please, Bobby Goren: you're my only hope.